Wednesday, 8 May 2013

Everton's next manager - the follow-up.

So, unless you've been hiding in a cave for the last 24 hours, you'll know that Alex Ferguson has announced his retirement from being a football manager and that Everton manager, David Moyes, is hot favourite to take over the reigns at Manchester United, which upsets me greatly.

In my previous post, I posted a list of names I wouldn't like to see taking over at Goodison Park. I missed a few out of the list though, so here are some more names that can think twice about taking over and, if any of them do, I'll be throwing myself into the nearest river.*

*the river wouldn't necessarily be the Mersey. It'd depend where I was at the time of us choosing a new manager (right now, I'm in Copenhagen, so it'd be Nyhavn). That is all.

Mark Hughes: Ah yes, Sparky. The clueless tit who doesn't know his arse from his elbow. Managed Wales for a few years from 1999 to 2004 before taking over at Blackburn Rovers, who were his longest-managed domestic team. He attempted to manage Manchester City for a year before heading off to Fulham and finally QPR, where he lasted a few months before getting sacked. He's also generally disliked by most football fans. He may have once played for Everton but we don't like (or want) him either.

Sven-Göran Eriksson: Whilst I like Scandinavian managers, since most of them know what they're doing, I've never liked or rated the bog-eyed spectacled idiot that is Sven. He's managed more clubs than I've had hot dinners and basically failed at all (or at least most) of them. And then there was the time he managed England. Need I say more?

Sam Allardyce: Another name I've seen doing the rounds today is Fat Sam's name. Oh Christ no. Us and him would be a disastrous combination. Nearly all the clubs he's managed are ones I don't particularly like so he can jolly well stay away from my beloved Everton, thank you!

Alan Pardew: Speaking of fatties, this idiot is the managerial equivalent of Millwall FC. Nobody likes him and he doesn't give a toss. I kind-of have a soft spot for Sunderland FC, despite their choice of manager (I don't rate Paolo di Canio either), so the thought of Alan Pardew leaving the fat Geordie skunks for Everton wouldn't make me happy. Anyway, don't those cunts have him for another eight years?

Neil Lennon: Whilst I like him at Celtic, who are my Scottish team, he is a bit of a liability and a bit of an idiot. Ally McCoist can stay where he is as well, thank you very much!

Steve Bruce: He may be back in the Premier League with yet another team but I've had a massive hatred for Bignose for many years. He's another one I wouldn't welcome with open arms.

So there we have it. Let's hope Bill Kenwright doesn't make any of this lot our new manager. All we want is a decent manager.

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