Friday, 31 May 2013

Wonderful stuff #3

May was an exciting month. We got a bit more sunshine as well as a bit of rain and it's getting warmer at long last, though the cold weather is still biting us all on the arse, but at least the sun has finally got his hat on (hip-hip-hoorah) and it may be a hot summer in the end.

Here's hoping.

Anyway, here's what I got up to...


So, as I'm sure you've already seen, I went over to Scandinavia for about the millionth time, only this time, it was for the Eurovision Song Contest. I, like many other Eurovision nuts, stayed in Copenhagen before making the short trip over the bridge to Malmö, where the contest was held this year. And what a night it was! It had everything: light up wristbands, flags waving, hot singers, smiling doctors, weird disco falsetto vampires, men in kilts singing about free booze (it was actually stupidly expensive) and even topless drummers. It's going back over the Öresundsbron next year after Denmark won it on Swedish soil, just like they did in 2000, and I'll be back in Copenhagen (or wherever it's held) for Eurovision next year. I can't wait!


2007 was a horrible year for me. I lost my wonderful brother, Paul, and I still miss him to this day. At the beginning of May, he would have turned 31, and I went to visit him to say hello and wish him a happy birthday before I went away. He may have been a massive Liverpool FC fan but that didn't stop him being a good man. He was only 24 when he died and he left behind two lovely children, my niece and nephew, and he'd have been a brilliant uncle to Sebastian. I still have a few of his things that I kept after his death, just so I know he's still around somewhere, and I have a few brilliant memories of the brother I loved so dearly. 


Whilst Everton's manager, David Moyes, left to join Manchester United as their new manager after Alex Ferguson's retirement and departure (and me having a good old sulk about it in the process), my second FC Copenhagen won the Danish Superliga for the tenth time of asking - and at the home of our nearest and not-so-dearest rivals as well. I went to the match the following week but we lost. Still, at least we won the league, so I can't really complain. Well, apart from said rivals (and horrible team) somehow managing to avoid relegation and going bust. Oh well, you can't win them all, can you?


Whilst everyone's been celebrating Denmark's win at Eurovision (see above), I've been listening to other songs from the contest. I HAVE listened to Emmelie's album but I've mostly been playing the Maltese entry over and over again. Gianluca was rather sweet on the night and he finished in a respectable eighth place so there's no complaining about that but the only thing that could have made it cuter was that if the song had been sung by puppies and kittens. He was very smiley as well and was so adorable. Can we have more like him next year please?


May's highlights included the following:
  • The tweets about who'll take over as manager at Everton (see my last blog post) and everyone cheering when Mark Hughes was named as manager of Stoke City. At least he's not coming to Goodison.
  • The Rooneys' new baby name.
  • Malmö having a restaurant called Bastard. Yes, I really did laugh!
  • No, you really shouldn't.
  • Myself and a friend tweeting about a Swedish guy dying after having sex with a hornet's net - only for me to then find out it was all a hoax.
  • Hearing people having fun pronouncing Robin Stjernberg's name. Stern-berg? Qwern-berr? St-yern-berg? (It's more the middle one for those who don't speak Swedish.)
  • Zlatan! Need I say more?
  • My friend's tweet about Serbia's Eurovision act, Moje 3, winning the Barbara Dex award for coming dressed as a real life game of Candy Crush.
And finally, my tweets of the month go to...

And that's about it. Until next time...

Wednesday, 8 May 2013

Everton's next manager - the follow-up.

So, unless you've been hiding in a cave for the last 24 hours, you'll know that Alex Ferguson has announced his retirement from being a football manager and that Everton manager, David Moyes, is hot favourite to take over the reigns at Manchester United, which upsets me greatly.

In my previous post, I posted a list of names I wouldn't like to see taking over at Goodison Park. I missed a few out of the list though, so here are some more names that can think twice about taking over and, if any of them do, I'll be throwing myself into the nearest river.*

*the river wouldn't necessarily be the Mersey. It'd depend where I was at the time of us choosing a new manager (right now, I'm in Copenhagen, so it'd be Nyhavn). That is all.

Mark Hughes: Ah yes, Sparky. The clueless tit who doesn't know his arse from his elbow. Managed Wales for a few years from 1999 to 2004 before taking over at Blackburn Rovers, who were his longest-managed domestic team. He attempted to manage Manchester City for a year before heading off to Fulham and finally QPR, where he lasted a few months before getting sacked. He's also generally disliked by most football fans. He may have once played for Everton but we don't like (or want) him either.

Sven-Göran Eriksson: Whilst I like Scandinavian managers, since most of them know what they're doing, I've never liked or rated the bog-eyed spectacled idiot that is Sven. He's managed more clubs than I've had hot dinners and basically failed at all (or at least most) of them. And then there was the time he managed England. Need I say more?

Sam Allardyce: Another name I've seen doing the rounds today is Fat Sam's name. Oh Christ no. Us and him would be a disastrous combination. Nearly all the clubs he's managed are ones I don't particularly like so he can jolly well stay away from my beloved Everton, thank you!

Alan Pardew: Speaking of fatties, this idiot is the managerial equivalent of Millwall FC. Nobody likes him and he doesn't give a toss. I kind-of have a soft spot for Sunderland FC, despite their choice of manager (I don't rate Paolo di Canio either), so the thought of Alan Pardew leaving the fat Geordie skunks for Everton wouldn't make me happy. Anyway, don't those cunts have him for another eight years?

Neil Lennon: Whilst I like him at Celtic, who are my Scottish team, he is a bit of a liability and a bit of an idiot. Ally McCoist can stay where he is as well, thank you very much!

Steve Bruce: He may be back in the Premier League with yet another team but I've had a massive hatred for Bignose for many years. He's another one I wouldn't welcome with open arms.

So there we have it. Let's hope Bill Kenwright doesn't make any of this lot our new manager. All we want is a decent manager.

Wednesday, 1 May 2013

Wonderful stuff #2

I didn't really do anything exciting or entertaining in April (apart from continuing my Eurovision obsession to get me in the mood for next week) but it's definitely been a good month, mostly due to the fact we're FINALLY getting a bit of sunshine. I've even managed to get out and about a bit with my two gorgeous boys, even though we've still had a few layers on, but anything's got to be better than sitting around under blankets and moping... right?

Can we have more warmer days in May please?


It's fair to say that the last few months have been stupidly cold. I've been packing for my forthcoming jaunt over to the land of the Scandics but, having seen weather reports for both here and there, I've had to buy a couple of extras just in case. (And, speaking of Scandinavia, all the following are from Sweden's own H&M. Well, I just had to.)

(Yes, I do like Swedish clothing. How did you guess?)


When Margaret Thatcher snuffed it at the beginning of April, literally everyone in the North of England celebrated. Some held street parties in celebration of her death whilst others downloaded Ding Dong The Witch Is Dead to try and get it to number one, much to the annoyance of the BBC, who decided not to play it if it charted. It got to number two and, in its place, we got a news report with a little bit of the song playing instead.

PS: Don't tell me who I can and can't like. Margaret Thatcher was one of the most hated figures in Liverpool after her cover-up of the Hillsborough Disaster and she was pretty much disliked by the people of Yorkshire as well, having done her part in the miners' strike of the '80s. She made most people's lives a misery, so now she can rot in hell.


Whilst everyone's been obsessing over the new Daft Punk song, I've been getting my groove on to the Canadian legend that is Michael Bublé. I downloaded his new album the other week and I can't get enough of it. I actually have most of his albums on my iPod and he never fails to cheer me up when I'm feeling down. What more could a girl ask for?


April was the month where one particular cretin called Old Holborn was outed by several scousers after he tweeted nasty abuse about Hillsborough and the murder of James Bulger. He picked on the wrong city and subsequently deleted his Twitter account, only to reappear a few days later, tweeting more abuse towards Liverpool and the people of our great city.


Other recent highlights from April include the following:
  • The one I tweeted about double derby day on Sunday. I'll be missing the Merseyside derby at Anfield for the second consecutive season, this time due to Sky faffing around with fixtures, and my second team, FC Copenhagen, take on their big rivals (who shall remain nameless) in the New Firm derby. I'll probably be over there by then anyway.
  • Tweets about Eurovision. Again.
  • Sale Sharks rugby union player, Danny Cipriani, getting battered by a bus and me tweeting Yhe Wheels On The Bus after hearing about it.
  • Tranmere's new away kit being modelled on a Vileda kitchen cloth having announced their new sponsor as Home Bargains. Classic.
  • The #playersonthesuarezmenu hashtag. Need I say more?

Finally, my favourite tweets of April go to...
And that's it. More of the same in May.